I wish it was that easy! But the reality is, in most cases people who break up feel infuriated and downright stressed out. It’s like you feel you wasted every year of your life with that person. And now it’s over, just like that.
I feel like one of the things they don’t tell you, when you are starting to get interested in dating, is that you will have a lot of breakups. Most of the focus seems to be on how to deal with the relationship itself, not the end of it.
But the growth and wisdom one can garner from the end of a relationship is invaluable. The reality is you need to learn how to break up and be Ok with it.
Obviously the initial period after a breakup, or divorce, is super intense and almost unbearable. This is when you really need to be patient with yourself. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to think of yourself as your very own child, or maybe an injured animal if that appeals to you more, and nurse yourself back to health.
Don’t shame yourself for being a blob of sheer despair. That is totally normal and you need to take the time to heal.
If you can convince yourself to get out of bed, try to seek out the company of your most optimistic friends. It might be tempting to commiserate with someone who is in the same boat, but this will ultimately just bring you down more. Maybe you could make a list of people who always make you smile, if that helps. Call them up and let them know what happened and see if they can hang out to do something other than talk about your situation. Let them infect you with their energy.
It is super tempting to neglect absolutely everything that doesn’t involve epic bed fortresses and cake eating contests with yourself. But you must resist! Just like an injured or sick person, you need to out your health first. Make sure to eat healthy and to not skip meals. Get some exercise and don’t sleep all day. If you’re having trouble sleeping, try to do things to ease anxiety, like meditation or yoga. Anything you do to take care of yourself will make you stronger and happier.
One upside to ending a relationship is all the free time you have all of the sudden. At first this may seem more like a curse than a blessing, since it gives you more time to replay everything in your head and obsess. It doesn’t have to be that way, though!
Think about all of the things you always wanted to do or try, and make a list. Then figure out ways to make those dreams reality. Maybe you always wanted to take guitar lessons but never found the time. Well, here is the universe, giving you the time on a silver platter. Take advantage of that and you will come out on the other side as a more whole, enriched version of yourself.
So, try a few of these tips and see if you don’t feel just a little bit better. Breaking up is awful, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to learn to see it. Go out with your friends, or make new friends. Start eating healthy, working out for your own sanity.
Exercise will release a shot of endorphins that right now, will act like natural anti-depressives. So basically you’ll be getting high thanks to your own body! Without any side effects but feeling awesome! Find that sense of being worthy and start having fun. Healthy and selfish fun!