Relationships are hard work. Unfortunately, romantic comedies lied to us and it is unlikely that you will meet Prince Charming and live happily ever after. After that wonderful honeymoon period at the beginning, you will need to put in some extra effort to make the relationship work. Only some people are worth it, though, and they can be hard to spot. Here are some common red flags that are easy to ignore, and why you should pay really close attention to them.
1. They have an excuse for everything
Well, well, well, life is full of things we can’t control, we know that! And sometimes we have to deal with unpleasant people. But when absolutely nothing is their fault, you should start to worry. We all need to take personal responsibility. If your partner’s reaction to every problem is figuring out how is not their fault instead of finding a solution, then nothing is ever going to get fixed or change.
2. They have a short fuse or behave aggressively
Talk about being a total negative Nancy! It’s important to deal with anger in a healthy way excessive yelling, hitting the furniture or the wall and other aggressive behaviors are dangerous, even if they are not directed at you. This is because their reactions will probably escalate and sooner or later, you will get caught in the crossfire. If you are looking at a future of walking on eggshells not to upset them, turn around now and walk away, girl.
3. They don’t have any friends or let you have any of your own
At the beginning of a relationship it’s natural to spend a lot of time with that special someone. But it is important to keep your social life active and maintain your friendships and relationship with your family. It is unhealthy to have your partner be your only social outlet, for everyone involved. It can lead to feeling jealous, left out or lonely when they have other plans, and it puts extreme pressure on them to be the only one you can turn for support or entertainment.
4. Extreme jealousy
Relationships need to be built on trust. You partner shouldn’t demand your online passwords or go through your phone. They don’t need to know exactly where you are and with whom every second of every day and they shouldn’t feel threatened every time you go out with your friends. If your partner believes that you are always on the brink of cheating, they are not worth your time. This paranoia will lead to controlling behavior and constant bickering, and it can be a sign that they are cheating themselves and are projecting on you. Run.
5. Your plans for the future don’t match up
This one is a hard one. It is extremely difficult to end a relationship when you really like your partner and everything goes great. But if you don’t want the same things in life, the future is going to be miserable. Does one of you want kids but the other doesn’t? What are your views on marriage? Where do you plan to live? Are your careers compatible? You should always try to compromise, but when there’s no way your goals will match up, it might be time to cut your loses and go your separate ways.